Team players are people who do not have a need to be right all the time, who know the value of compromise, who know that success is achieving the mark regardless of who takes the lead and gets the credit, who pitch in even when it is inconvenient and don’t make a big fuss over it. A solo player is someone who does not like to have rules imposed on them, does not need consensus, does best when given a goal and are freed to find the way to succeed on their own.

Problems emerge when a solo player is put into a team or when members of a team are treated as solo players.

We each have a little of both in us but invariably we have a preferred style. It does not matter what it is. What’s important is to know ourselves, to acknowledge the style of those we work and play with, and honor the differences and contributions of each. This will decrease frustration and prevent unrealistic expectations. Then the possibilities are endless.

There are many layers and angles to this topic. Consider this merely an introduction to the concept. Your experience can do the rest.

Made you think?

I am listening …

Her question stopped me on my tracks. Having been a meditator for years, I gave her the politically correct answer. Then I hung up and really dove into the question. Found out my mind is busy thinking of the past as well as elaborating and fantasizing about the future. I realized that nothing that was on my mind at that moment had to do with the present, where life is actually happening.

Thanks my friend, I needed a reminder that all I have is this moment, the present, and if I am fully here, in it, the future takes care of itself and the past is healed by this moment of truth.

Can you relate?

I am listening …

Recently I was judging myself negatively for how I handled a situation. I was thinking: “you should not have done so and so “. In the midst of this inner dialogue another thought came: “what would happen if in this moment, in this instant, I forgave me and stopped judging myself?”. So I did. Tremendous peace and understanding followed.

Catch yourself judging you. Stop the judgement dialogue. Then forgive you for whatever you think you have done wrong or should have done differently.

What happens? Stay with it. It takes practice.

I am listening …

It made me think that I have not set a “stretching” intention in some time. I now have a “stretching” intention, to not take ANYTHING personally. It appeared just like that. I guess I was ready to stretch! It feels exciting.

What would be a stretching intention for you?

I am listening …

“As I was laying in savasana at the end of the yoga practice I thought of how much I enjoy it, and how in this last year very little has brought me joy, and how heavy my shoulders feel as I live with a huge work responsibility. There does not seem to be enough time to engage in fun, light activities. As I take inventory I am aware that only I can change this.

What do I need to do to change? Here is my short list:

- Go to yoga during the week, even if this means there is no dinner ready, the recyclables and trash have not been put out, the bed is not made and the house might not look neat, and I haven’t got next day’s lunch snacks ready

- Watch a little less T.V. at night and give myself time to read or make calls to friends, or go for a walk with my sweetheart

- Engage in activities where I might make friends. I notice how not having a friend nearby has affected me

- Give myself time to engage in voluntary work once a week

- Talk to my boss and redefine my work responsibilities”

What do you see when you take stock?

I am listening …

How do you discover these rules?

Ask yourself: What happens when I challenge the status quo, when I speak my mind? What happens when I have a great idea? How do I take it forward, what are the barriers?

To change the rules in any relationship, marriage, friendship, with a co-worker, your boss, etc., one has to first acknowledge what exists. Switching is not hard, it just takes courage — such as saying: “I know it has been done this way up until now but .…”. “I know I have never said anything before…”. Fill in the blank.

What circumstance or relationship in your life is ripe for change?

I am listening …

Recently a client was afraid of what might happen if he lost his job. The fear sat in the pit of his stomach, never leaving him, he couldn’t think straight. Soon after we had this conversation he did lose his job and is now doing what he loves and making money at it. Letting go of fear makes way for clear thinking and being able to see facts as they really are. Truth follows.

Life has many gifts for us if we let go of fear.

Love is letting go of fear
Happiness is letting go of fear
Living in the moment is achieved by letting go of fear
Miracles happen when we let go of fear
People listen when we speak from the heart with no fear

Does fear have a role in your life? What would happen if you let go of it?

I am listening …

It is a trend and I am joining in. So I asked myself what is it that I could make more conscious in my life. I immediately knew the answer. It is to become a more conscious listener. I listen as part of my consulting and real estate work but in personal conversations I tend to jump in, maybe with exuberant enthusiasm. This makes me not listen well and the person speaking feel interrupted.

What do you need to make more conscious in your life? Join the trend!

I am listening …

“After cutting our credit cards, my husband and I wrote our goals on our bathroom mirror.  I listed each one of our debts and balances.  As the debt totals change I will change them on the mirror with the hope that I will be able to erase one at a time until they are all gone.  We are still very nervous.  There are too many things coming up that are going to require spending money…vet bills, heavy dry cleaning bills, etc.  It is doable but requires extreme budgeting.  Every dollar has to have a name. Every dollar is accounted for at the beginning of the month.  We did, however, hit a milestone.  One of the credit cards went from a $3000 balance to $491 this week.  The rest will be paid from a commission check in the up and coming weeks.  I will let everyone know when we erase debt off of the mirror.  I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!! “

For the readers of this blog– I wanted to let you know I have invited K and E&J to update us regularly on their progress.  Having a space to share their intentions in front of supportive witnesses is very powerful.  Nobody will hold them accountable for the outcome, only they can do this, but we will walk with them as they move into a space of self-empowerment and deeper alignment.  I predict that many other gifts will be discovered along the way – when diving for a coin one often finds a pearl. 

Have you ever had the experience of 2 + 2 adding up to 6, the outcome being far greater than the sum of its parts?  Any unexpected miracles in your life lately?

I am listening …

“I went to get the boots I need for work and found them. Unfortunately I also found a warm scarf on clearance from $40.00 to $9:00. I am worse than someone addicted to alcohol or something.  It is awful.  I cannot take the scarf back. I will keep it as a reminder that I, like an addict, need to stay away from the substance. And I am not discouraged. Quite the contrary, a slip does not need to turn into a fall, but I do need to fess up.”

Success is a process and not a one time event. Perseverance, steady resolve and patience, particularly with ourselves, will ultimately bring the longed for result no matter what we may be working on. 

Are you being patient and loving with you?

I am listening …