It hit me one day that I grow most through those moments when I exercise my awareness and will power in the present moment.

Recently I was judging myself negatively for how I handled a situation. I was thinking: “you should not have done so and so “. In the midst of this inner dialogue another thought came: “what would happen if in this moment, in this instant, I forgave me and stopped judging myself?”. So I did. Tremendous peace and understanding followed.

Catch yourself judging you. Stop the judgement dialogue. Then forgive you for whatever you think you have done wrong or should have done differently.

What happens? Stay with it. It takes practice.

I am listening …

A friend was sharing with me the miracles and growth brought about by her fasting one day a week, now for several months. She said it was not easy at the beginning but now she looks forward to her day of fasting.

It made me think that I have not set a “stretching” intention in some time. I now have a “stretching” intention, to not take ANYTHING personally. It appeared just like that. I guess I was ready to stretch! It feels exciting.

What would be a stretching intention for you?

I am listening …

We are called to be authentic and aligned in many ways. Here is an e-mail I received from a successful executive. We had a conversation about what it means for her to work and live soulfully. She writes …

“As I was laying in savasana at the end of the yoga practice I thought of how much I enjoy it, and how in this last year very little has brought me joy, and how heavy my shoulders feel as I live with a huge work responsibility. There does not seem to be enough time to engage in fun, light activities. As I take inventory I am aware that only I can change this.

What do I need to do to change? Here is my short list:

- Go to yoga during the week, even if this means there is no dinner ready, the recyclables and trash have not been put out, the bed is not made and the house might not look neat, and I haven’t got next day’s lunch snacks ready

- Watch a little less T.V. at night and give myself time to read or make calls to friends, or go for a walk with my sweetheart

- Engage in activities where I might make friends. I notice how not having a friend nearby has affected me

- Give myself time to engage in voluntary work once a week

- Talk to my boss and redefine my work responsibilities”

What do you see when you take stock?

I am listening …

Sometimes people get in trouble at work or in their relationships because they don’t pay attention to the rules of engagement, when negotiating a deal, making changes in a relationship, navigating the workplace, etc. Knowing the rules of engagement is important for successful communication outcomes.

How do you discover these rules?

Ask yourself: What happens when I challenge the status quo, when I speak my mind? What happens when I have a great idea? How do I take it forward, what are the barriers?

To change the rules in any relationship, marriage, friendship, with a co-worker, your boss, etc., one has to first acknowledge what exists. Switching is not hard, it just takes courage — such as saying: “I know it has been done this way up until now but .…”. “I know I have never said anything before…”. Fill in the blank.

What circumstance or relationship in your life is ripe for change?

I am listening …

Some years ago Gerald Jampolsky wrote a significant book: “Love is letting go of fear”. Up until the time I read this book I had not given a thought to fear playing a role in my life. I was shocked to realize that fear was indeed interfering with many of my decisions, often causing me to do or say things I did not really want to do or say.

Recently a client was afraid of what might happen if he lost his job. The fear sat in the pit of his stomach, never leaving him, he couldn’t think straight. Soon after we had this conversation he did lose his job and is now doing what he loves and making money at it. Letting go of fear makes way for clear thinking and being able to see facts as they really are. Truth follows.

Life has many gifts for us if we let go of fear.

Love is letting go of fear
Happiness is letting go of fear
Living in the moment is achieved by letting go of fear
Miracles happen when we let go of fear
People listen when we speak from the heart with no fear

Does fear have a role in your life? What would happen if you let go of it?

I am listening …

This is the “Conscious Decade”. The movement has started; evidence is everywhere–conscious chef, conscious parenting, conscious accounting, conscious health, conscious pet care, conscious gardening, and even conscious media, to name a few.

It is a trend and I am joining in. So I asked myself what is it that I could make more conscious in my life. I immediately knew the answer. It is to become a more conscious listener. I listen as part of my consulting and real estate work but in personal conversations I tend to jump in, maybe with exuberant enthusiasm. This makes me not listen well and the person speaking feel interrupted.

What do you need to make more conscious in your life? Join the trend!

I am listening …

Here is an update on E&J’s Cash experiment …

“After cutting our credit cards, my husband and I wrote our goals on our bathroom mirror.  I listed each one of our debts and balances.  As the debt totals change I will change them on the mirror with the hope that I will be able to erase one at a time until they are all gone.  We are still very nervous.  There are too many things coming up that are going to require spending money…vet bills, heavy dry cleaning bills, etc.  It is doable but requires extreme budgeting.  Every dollar has to have a name. Every dollar is accounted for at the beginning of the month.  We did, however, hit a milestone.  One of the credit cards went from a $3000 balance to $491 this week.  The rest will be paid from a commission check in the up and coming weeks.  I will let everyone know when we erase debt off of the mirror.  I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!! “

For the readers of this blog– I wanted to let you know I have invited K and E&J to update us regularly on their progress.  Having a space to share their intentions in front of supportive witnesses is very powerful.  Nobody will hold them accountable for the outcome, only they can do this, but we will walk with them as they move into a space of self-empowerment and deeper alignment.  I predict that many other gifts will be discovered along the way – when diving for a coin one often finds a pearl. 

Have you ever had the experience of 2 + 2 adding up to 6, the outcome being far greater than the sum of its parts?  Any unexpected miracles in your life lately?

I am listening …

A further post by K who yesterday shared with us “the longing…”

“I went to get the boots I need for work and found them. Unfortunately I also found a warm scarf on clearance from $40.00 to $9:00. I am worse than someone addicted to alcohol or something.  It is awful.  I cannot take the scarf back. I will keep it as a reminder that I, like an addict, need to stay away from the substance. And I am not discouraged. Quite the contrary, a slip does not need to turn into a fall, but I do need to fess up.”

Success is a process and not a one time event. Perseverance, steady resolve and patience, particularly with ourselves, will ultimately bring the longed for result no matter what we may be working on. 

Are you being patient and loving with you?

I am listening …

This is the year for deep alignment and truth.  As we ascend the ladder of evolution, truth reveals the powerful, light filled beings we are.  E&J’s cash experiment has inspired many.  Here is one story.

“The longing …

As I remove myself from my habits I notice how some bring me joy, others don’t, some actually bring misery in the form of anxiety and restlessness. Fortunately there are not too many of those, yet they gnaw at me like a mouse chewing, chewing and never able to quite bite into it.

E&J’s 2010 life exercise of finding a better way inspired me to open up about one particular habit that I will kick in the “derriere” and do so publicly. Why in public? Because it seems that I need a witness, for I have tried and failed. So, enough of introductions.

I like to shop, I like to look for bargains, and I like how it makes me feel, this has created debt. It doesn’t matter if it is small or big debt, it’s spending money that I don’t have, and this brings anxiety, not to mention worry of how I will pay for it, crazy behavior. The cherry of this pie is that I like to use a handbag that I’ve had for nine years, and there are very few clothes that I actually wear, so most of what I buy I give away. Conclusion, I have a longing, I am looking for an experience, it is not about what I buy. What I have noticed is that when I really need a pair of shoes or a sweater, I usually find them and at a great price, for that need is aligned with the rest of me, the rest of life (it sounds crazy, but I have lived this).

So, I decided that in 2010 I will not go shopping once, that’s right, not one single time. I have everything that I need for all kinds of weather. I do need a pair of short boots, which I will look for today (I have a 30% discount coupon that is good till today), and my hiking boots have a hole. Those will be the two items that I will purchase for myself this year, and every month I will make my debt smaller, until it is payed off.

I will keep you posted on how I deal with this dragon of many heads.”

Do you have an experiment? Do you want to share? Send me an e-mail and I will post it.

I am listening …

When we take stock of our lives and face the truth, magical things can happen, things like feeling alive, aligned and connected. Following is the experience of one couple who said enough is enough, they want to live life differently and they are starting now.  They are calling this year “The Cash Experiment”.  The note below is self-explanatory. I will give you updates as I receive them.  Good luck E&J! I am cheering for your success!

“It is a new year and my husband and I did the scariest thing that either one of us has ever done…we cut up our credit cards…all of them.  How did we get to this point?  What is this point?  It is the point where you realize how desperate you are.  It is the point where you realize in an instant that you want to make each other the priority of your life and not all that other stuff.  It is the point where you realize that you can only afford your life barely.  I love my husband and he loves me.  In order for this to work we have to do this together.  We have to hold each other tight.

We have been a fan of radio host Dave Ramsay for a long time.  We thought we were smarter.  We thought that if we looked at percentage rates and income ratios that we could handle the debt.  What we realized was that we had crutches, credit cards, saving graces.  We realized that we had no idea how much we were spending or how much we could contribute to debt. 

So, this is the challenge.  We have decided how much we can spend for food and extras.  This will be allocated in cash at the beginning of the month.  There is NO OTHER SPENDING.  My hope is that this continues to bring us closer as husband and wife.  The other hope is that life will become easier.   Our lives are crazy.   I can only hope to share a portion of the craziness and happiness through these thoughts.  As we share our thoughts I will share more about our lives.

Those who are discouraged and scared…it’s ok.  I am there, too.  I am there.  I am there.  I will…we will succeed!”

What do you need to take stock of?

I am listening …