Who are your committee members?  Hint: they are or have been significant people in your life.  Your father? Mother? A special teacher? You minister? Rabi?  Who?  What are each saying about who you are?  Don’t forget, you are part of that committee too. What are you saying?

For better or for worse, we have received messages throughout our lives about who we are, from our parents, teachers, friends, relationships.  But for most of us there are key people whose messages became deeply ingrained into our being and have shaped us.   Some of these messages were not so great.  For example : “you are lazy”.  Some are wonderful such as “you will succeed no matter what”.  We have had many opinions about who we are or should be.  It is for us to declare who we are today.  Let’s identify these messengers so they don’t sneak into our lives pretending to be us.

 I am listening …

The last few days have been interesting.  I was on vacation in the mountains, my computer quit and my cell phone did not have much reception.  For the first couple of days I couldn’t stop thinking of how to get to a computer so I can write a blog entry.  Then I realized that it was really silly not to make the most of my time in the mountains.  I surrendered and asked myself, “what lesson am I learning” : be present to my life as it unfolds. This was time to enjoy.  I also decided that I was in charge, not a blog, not my computer, that nothing was irreparable.  All I needed to do was to communicate, tell the truth. Like many of you, I am much harder on myself than anyone else would be.  A good lesson in surrender, acceptance of what is, trust.

 Any lessons lately?

 I am listening …

Everyone I meet has something to teach me, no matter who they are, where they come from or what their belief system may happen to be.  So many of my aha! moments in life came through golden nuggets distilled from a conversation, a book, a circumstance.

When we focus on golden nuggets, on what we can learn, there is no room for finger pointing, accusing or blaming.  Conversations and relationships take on a whole new level of awareness, kindness and respect.    

Distill one golden nugget from a conversation today. What did you learn?

I am listening …

I invite you to make one change that will leap your life forward. 

One powerful way to decide what change to make is to ask yourself what you are resisting.  Another way to decide what to change is to ask yourself what you wanted to do for a long time and just have not done.   

In systems theory it is said that if you make one change in the system, however small, the whole system will change. Remember when Gandhi decided to fast? It brought the English to their knees.

What is your one change?

I am listening …

Job searches can be nerve racking. Remember that a resume just gets you in the door and having the skills only qualifies you for the job. Getting selected and hired calls for that extra something.  Here are two things that come to mind:

Poise. Yes, poise. Someone who is not easily ruffled, who is approachable; someone who believes in him/herself and has well managed enthusiasm, as opposed to off the wall excitement; someone who is teachable and not the know it all type; someone who feels as comfortable with the supervisor as with a co-worker.

Coming form your center. Knowing who you are, feeling sure of yourself, knowing you are deserving of this or other jobs even if you don’t answer a question correctly. Coming from your center emits a vibration of calmness, good self-esteem, people sense this. They instantly feel trust. They can count on you. You are solid. This is more important to companies sometimes than having 100 % of the skills needed.

How did it go?

I am listening …

If I were to ask you to write a book about your life, what title would you give it? How many chapters would it have? What are the chapters called?

It is clear that there is so much to who we are, our books say so. Sometimes we live life small. We forget our bigness and that our lives are meaningful and important. Sometimes we allow the circumstances of daily life to shrink us. I am here to remind you that you are big and a being filled with light, energy and love, capable of great achievements and breakthroughs, or anything you set your mind to accomplish!

What is your book called?

I am listening …

Some years ago I was going through a rough spot. My friend John suggested an exercise. He said: “practice dying”. His own practice made him stay centered on his highest priorities and he would ask himself how he would show up if he knew it was his last day.

I do this practice when I feel entangled by some emotion or feeling and need to see my priorities clearly. It sets me straight on what matters in my life. Above all, practicing dying keeps me connected to a space of love.

Try it.

I am listening …

Someone shared with me a saying: “when God closes one door he opens another, but it’s hell in the hallway.” I prefer this version: “when God closes one door he opens another and it’s a void in the hallway”.

Changes, shifts, transitions create voids. What was, is no longer, and what will be, has not yet arrived. Let’s add another saying: “nature abhors a vacuum”. Put all this together and what we have is a void that begs to be filled.

What do we do with the empty spaces in our lives? We tend to fill them with stuff, people, activities, even if it is not what we want or like. Have you ever gone shopping because you did not know what else to do? Or, called a friend even though you really wanted to be alone? Learning how to be with empty spaces can be challenging, particularly when going through life, work or relationship transitions.

Few of us are trained on what to do with emptiness. Yet, we know it is in our best interest to learn. Silence, emptiness is where our inner wisdom speaks to us best. Creativity, passion, authentic inspiration spring forth from these spaces naturally and with perfect timing. Trust!

What do you do with empty spaces?

I am listening …

Many us feel a calling to something great but don’t quite know what it is. Uncovering our passion is a process not a one time event. As we pay attention to our lives, our inclinations, and what draws us energetically, we come into the heart of it.

Think of this process as being in front of a table full of delectable dishes. We can either eat indiscriminately or we can look at the displayed dishes, ask ourselves what we would really like to eat, pay attention to what our bodies resonate with and begin to hone in on the dishes that attract us. Getting to that one dish that is most attractive to our palate is our goal.

Let’s say that we decide pasta to be our all time favorite dish. We begin to explore the pasta family in all its varieties, to experiment with the various flavors of sauces. We delve deeply into the world of pastas. People begin to ask our opinion on their pasta dish, we are invited to be keynote speakers at pasta conventions, we are inspired to write a book about pastas, or we simply go into our cave and savor it to our delight. You get my point. Dialing into the heart of our passion is an uncovering process, it is meant to be a fun, joyful, and exciting journey if we let it. Keep away unwanted companions of stress, hurry, pressure to perform, exasperation, jumping to conclusions prematurely, and procrastination. Even giving up shows up sometimes.

Describe your uncovering process.

I am listening …